Ever since....

Ever since the recent failure, i am very more depress than ever. It seems like no matter what i do, i can't seem to concentrate. It affects my work badly. Very badly in fact. I am thinking should i resign or wait for my boss to fire me. No one knows how i feel. No one knows how much i have to endure the pain of failure. I know that the percentage of success is very slim but i still want to ''gamble". In the end, i lost. I am suppose to go in for the result next Tuesday, but now, i don't even need to go there anymore. Because i have failed the 'test'.

The hurt and pain that i go through now is terrible. I am in total lost. I start to get jealous. I start to hate. I start to make comparison. I feel guilty when i laugh or smile. Because i am a already a loser. I have no right to laugh nor smile like others.