I think whoever reads this post will try to figure out who is this 'he'. Of course, this 'he' is not my beloved riceball. Because riceball has never made me disappointed at this moment.
All these while, i always thought that he is a wonderful person. I always thought that he is my only hope in my life. A person who can change my life one day. A person who can fulfill my wish and dream. But i was wrong. I only realized it when i met him last week. He is not a person who i can look for help anymore.
Before that, i admired him a lot. I felt that he is a very approachable person and ever wiling to help you. But he is not this kind of person. He is no different from any other people. I don't know where has his compassion gone to. When he said this statement twice, "It's unfair for you and also unfair for me', I was totally hurt. The feeling of betrayal is there. I was stabbed in my heart. I totally understand that everyone is selfish. What's more both of us are not related at all. Not even close.
But he is my only hope. He is the only person i can trust at this point of my life. I need his advice. I need his help. I need his support. So now, i feel totally lost and hopeless.
He has truly hurt me. I am not sure whether i will be able to face him anymore. Because after the conversation with him, i just walked away without a word of thank nor a smile from me.
He might just brush it off, but the words that he said, has truly scarred me. Until now, i still brood over it. I still think about it. I have tried to brush it off but it still etch in my mind. In my memory.
If he can't help me, i really truly and sincerely hope that God can help me.
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