Friends Or Acquaintances

How do you differentiate whether this person is your friend or acquaintance? Well, to me, not many people are suitable to be my friends. Some are just meant to be acquiantances.

To me, if i counted a person as my friends, i am willing to share my secrets and problems with him/her without worrying that she/he will betray my trust. I will feel comfortable being with him/her. I can even joke around with them without worrying they will be angry.

As for acquaintances, they are merely partner at work. We can only discuss formal things. When we meet, we just say "hi" and "bye". No secrets. No chatting. You will feel awkward when chatting with them. You feel uneasy sharing secrets with them.

I do have friends that turned into acquaintences. Why? Hard to get along. Communication problem. I still remember i have a friend that is easily offended. Or being too defensive. Everything must listen to her. She is too authoritive to me. How to be friend? So, i tried to keep a distance. Because i don't know when will i offend her again. And i don't know how to communicate with her anymore.

So whenever i met a new person, i will think carefully first whether she/he is suitable to be your friend or your acquaintance. Can i share my problems, happiness and sadness with her? Can i trust her/him with my secrets.

Mask Review: My Scheming Beauty Birdnest + Collagen

Birdnest + collagen mask is one of my favourite mask. To me, this mask is suitable for all skin type especially dry skin because it not only consists of birdnest but also cucumber extract which can help in moistening your skin.

When i put on the masks, i don't feel any tingling sensation like how i felt when i put on All-in-collagen masks from dainty design. Maybe because it's milder. The effect isn't very distinct when you remove the mask, but i feel my skin is a bit more supple.

Here is the image of My Scheming Beauty Birdnest + collagen package.

I am selling My Scheming Beauty masks. At this moment this masks already out of stock. A lot of people love it.

If you thought of buying masks from me, can go to pretty babez' fashion website. My beauty diary masks are coming soon too.

Q10 + Collagen

Recently we can see there are many skin care products even facial masks consists of Q10 and collagen. We know that skincare products which consists of Q10 and collagen are very good to fight aging process.

Q10 is one of the essential cogs in the biochemical machineary that produces biological energy inside the cells. Second, C0Q10 is an antioxidant. Therefore, it helps neutralize harmful free radicals which are one of the causes of aging. As we grow older, level of Q10 starts to decrease and when it reaches its lowest peak, resulting in lesser ability to produce collagen, elastin and other important skin molecules.

Collagen which is found in skin tissue are important for skin strength and elasticity. As this collagen break down, it causes skin to lost its suppleness and we begin to get wrinkles and our skin starts to sag.

From here we know that, in order to prevent sagging skin and wrinkles, we need to have Q10. With Q10, we body able to produce collagen. And with collagen we able to reduce fine lines, wrinkles and sagging skin.

For more information, you can read it at here and here.

There are many supplements in the market now which consists of Q10 and also collagen.

We should start to maintain our skin as young as mid 20s to prevent premature aging. If we do not want to take those supplement, we can use facial products which consists of Q10 and collagen which will be introduced in my next post :)

First Payment From Pay Per Post

Yuppie!! i got my first payment from pay per post. Though the amount is extremely little but i am still happy because at least i have earned something from my side income. Hehe...

Hopefully i still have the opportunity to earn more.

Review: My Scheming Beauty Pearl Extract

Recently i have used a lot of facial masks. The purpose of using the facial masks are to test out the quality and also the effect they have towards the face before selling them to my customers. At least you can explain to them better the effect after using the facial masks.

Let me review about Pearl Extract Mask. I quite like this mask. It doesn't have those tingling sensation when you use the mask compared to using red wine polyphenol mask. It can be absorbed well by my face.

Your face feels moist and fairer after using it. Therefore, it is highly recommended to those with dry skin. It doesn't dry your skin at all.

Here is the packaging for Scheming Beauty Mask: Pearl extract

Michael Jackson is Dead.....

May GOD bless him !

Letter From Maybank: Transaction Error.

This morning i received an email from Maybank stated that something is wrong with my maybank account. Here is the content of the email:

Do you know what is wrong with this email? Let me list out for you:

Firstly, this is a mass email. How do i know is a mass email? Can you see that the "To recipient" have no email add? How can Maybank enter your email add in the BCC instead of TO?

Secondly, look at the sender email add. What email add is that? If it's from Maybank, it will definitely use Maybank's email address. But this add looks weird isn't it?

Thirdly, this email does not even specifically address your name in the mail. It just stated there " Dear valued customer".. What the heck !?

So now you know how to differentiate a SCAM email? Do not be fool by this email. Do you not click on the link provided in this email. If you are still worry whether it's real or scam, email to Maybank or give Maybank customer service a call.

If you do not have a Maybank account, then you just laugh it off ... :)

Google Award: I am a Billionaire !

I am going to become a billionaire soon. Google has rewarded me a lump sum of money that i don't ever need to work again. Believe or not? Read on:

Google Incorporations.
Stamford New Road,
Altrincham Cheshire,
WA14 1EPLondon,
United Kingdom.

Winning No: GUK/877/798/2009
Ticket No: GUK/699/33/2009Notification Date: 22/06/2009

GOOGLE ANNIVERSARY WINNING NOTIFICATION.
We wish to congratulate you once again on this note, for being part of ourwinners selected this year. This promotion was set-up to encourage the activeusers of the Google search engine and the Google ancillary services.
Hence we do believe with your winning prize, you will continue to be activeand patronage to the Google search engine. Google is now the biggest searchengine worldwide and in an effort to make sure that it remains the most widelyused search engine,we ran an online e-mail beta test which your email addresswon £450,000. {Four Hundred And Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds Sterling}

We wish to formally announce to you that you have successfully passed therequirements, statutory obligations, verifications,validations andsatisfactory report Test conducted for all online winners.A winning chequewill be issued in your name by Google Promotion Award Team, You have thereforewon the entire sum of £450,000.00 {Four Hundred And Fifty Thousand GreatBritish Pounds Sterling} and also a certificate of prize claims will be sentalong side your winning cheque.

Sir Richard Scholes.
Foreign Transfer Manager
Google Security Department.
E-mail:sir.richardscholes01@gmail.com

You are advised to contact your Foreign Transfer Manager with the followingdetails to avoid unnecessary delay and complications:
VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM.
(1) Your contact address.
(2) Your Tel/Fax numbers.
(3) Your Nationality/Country.
(4) Your Full Name/Sex.
(5) Occupation/Age.
(6) Ever won an online lottery?

The Google Promotion Award Team has discovered a huge number of double claimsdue to winners informing close friends relatives and third parties abouttheir winning and also sharing their pin numbers. As a result of this, thesefriends try to claim the lottery on behalf of the real winners. The GooglePromotion Award Team has reached a decision from headquarters that any doubleclaim discovered by the Lottery Board will result to the canceling of thatparticular winning, making a loss for both the double claimer and the realwinner, as it is taken that the real winner was the informer to the doubleclaimer about the lottery. So you are hereby strongly advised once more tokeep your winnings strictly confidential until you claim your prize.
Congratulations from the Staffs & Members of the Google interactive LotteriesBoard Commission.

Sincerely,
Dr. Donald Lloyd
Google Promotion Award Team

Yes i know you are very sincere Dr. Donald Lloyd. But should i believe you ??

Taking the Wrong Degree

The moment i stepped into the lecture hall, i know that i have taken the wrong course. The wrong Degree. But nothing i can do. There is no turning back. I have to endure for 3 long years. The memories of rushing for assignments and begging for help are terrifying. I would never want it to happen again. NEVER EVER AGAIN !.

All these years, i have tried to love my field of study. But i just can't do so. I feel useless when i am at work. I feel very listless and not motivated at all. My mind keeps wandering around. I just can't concentrate.

Every morning i dread to go to work. The thought of sitting in the office, staring at the computer makes me scared. I am not confidence when facing the challenge in my field. That is the reason why i love Friday the most because i do not need to go to work the next day. I have the highest energy level on Friday night.

Sigh... actually this is not what i want. If i were given another chance, what type of course would i choose?

I am still pondering.....

Pos Malaysia Customer Service = Lousy !

UPDATE: Pos office ask me to get my stuff from the post office today. Yes !

I am really doubtful about the service of Pos Malaysia. There is a customer service no for us to call their service agents to ask regarding our mails, parcel and etc.

But everytime i call them, no one picks up the phone. Usually hotline no like 1300 is machine automated. But for this Pos Malaysia, the phone can keep ringing until it stops by itself. The no is 1300-300-300.

I wanted to check with them my parcel because according to the tracking no, the parcel should be in the post office but not sure when will they deliver it to me.

The parcel is very important to me. And i hope i can receive it within these few days.

Mask Review: Dainty Design Masks

I have used beauty diary, my scheming beauty and also dainty design masks. Among all the masks, the masks which i do not like most should be dainty design masks. Well, i don't like it not because the quality is not good, but because of the masks' smell. The smell is too strong for my liking. The quality of the masks frankly speaking is good especially the All-in-1 collagen. It really helps to brighten up and firmed you skin. I can see a bit of its effect after using it for one day. Luckily All-in-1 collagen masks for dainty design doesn't have strong smell. But for the rest of the masks, the smell is really very strong. Maybe because i have sensitive nose, that's why i can't stand the smell.

But if you all really want to give it a try, then give All-in-1 collagen masks a try. It's highly recommended.

Lum Khee Restaurant

Lum Khee Restaurant is situated in Kulim town. What i love most about this restaurant is a wantan mee stall. This wantan mee stall is opened from morning around 8 till afternoon if i am not mistaken.

The wantan noodle is springy and not soggy like some of the wantan mee stall. But this wantan mee stall is not halal because it has pig lard in it. But i love the pig lard because it's crunchy. Perfect match with the wantan noodle.

Giant is Here

Giant hypermarket is opening this coming Friday 26th June 2009 at Kulim. At last there is a hypermarket for the residents in Kulim. At least we do not need to go as far as Penang to buy our necessities.

Hopefully there will be a lot of things selling in Giant because most of the Giant hypermarkets which i have gone to do not have many stocks and most of their products look a bit old to me. So i usually go to Tesco to buy home necessities.

I will review again once i have gone to the hypermarket.

It's Durian Season

It's durian season now. Sooo happy. You can eat till you drop. This year, the quantity of durian is more than previous year. But you must know how to choose durian in order not to be cheated by the seller. Most of the durian sellers are very cunning. So if you really want to savour the durian, you either have to eat there or bring a tupperware to keep the durian instead of opening them at home.

There is a reason why i say bring a tupperware to keep the durian instead of opening them at home. It's because usually when you ask the durian seller to choose for you, they will choose one that is not 100% good for you. They will only open the portion which is good for you. For view purpose only. if you are satisfied, they will pack for you. But in reality, part of the durian is already spoilt or rotten. You will only realise it when you open it up at home. By the time, it's too late.

So i prefer to eat there or ask them to open them up the durians and put the fruit inside a tupperware. At least i can see the whole durian. Not only part of it.

This is only an advice. you can choose to follow or not to follow. :)

TVB Review: Just Love II

Just Love II is part 2 of Just Love I. This drama is more kinship, friendship and love. To some people this drama is quite boring because it doesn't involve a lot of action. It focus more on a family of three which consists of a Wife who is a judge, stay-at-home husband and a 3-year old son.

This drama trying to potray the importance of family. How they overcome their problems with the help and support from their family members.

The last episode of this drama is very touching.

Review: My Scheming Beauty Mask

I think many of you have not heard of My Scheming Beauty Mask. All of us mainly know beauty diary masks. It's because beauty diary masks get a lot of publicity from Taiwan Media so they are more well-known compared to my scheming beauty masks.

Frankly speaking, i prefer My Scheming Beauty Mask. So does my customers. Firstly, it's more affordable compared to Beauty Diary Mask. Many of my customers have seen the effect on their faces after using the mask especially Q10 collagen masks. It has received a lot of positive feedback from my customers.

Now they have the latest mask call Birdnest + collagen. I myself must also give it a try. I am selling this mask too.. Even it is recommended by my supplier.

As we are getting older, we must take care of our skin because we easily have wrinkles and lose the skin elasticity.

If anyone of you have not tried my scheming beauty masks, you should give it a try. You might love it after using it.

Dateline or deadline ?

Often, i see many people like to use dateline to represent end of a time line. But actually which is the correct one?

It should be deadline and not dateline. I don't know how everyone can come to this conclusion that dateline equivalent to end of a time frame?

According to dictionary.net deadline refers to the point in time at which something must be completed.

As for dateline it refers to a line at the beginning of a news article giving the date and place of origin of the news dispatch or mark with a date and place; "dateline a newspaper article" .

I find it weird why many of the notice board regardless in the schools or universities they use the word dateline to represent deadline.

Please do not learn the wrong thing. If you are not clear about the meaning then look into the dictionary.

Be a responsible parents

Many of the married couples want to have kids. And when they really have kids, they like to put their kids under their parents' care. It's alright if your parents are still young and healthy. And most importantly they are willing to help you out.

But some are simply ridiculous. They "force" their parents to take care for them their kids. Have they ever thought that their parents are already old and tired after taking care of them for so many years? It is not their responsibility to take care the kids for you but it's your responsibility to take care of the kids yourself. I know many married couples are working but it doesn't mean that they can just shirk their responsibility as a parents.

Taking care of a kid is not a easy task. You need to have a lot of patience and energy. Our parents are already very old. It's time for them to rest and enjoy their old age. Yes, they can help you to look after your kids once in a while but not all the time. They have already taken good care of us for years and it's time for us to "repay" them by letting them to enjoy their old age and not ask them to "work" some more.

I don't mean to offend anyone in this post, but i just want to say that if you want to have kids, please take up the responsibility yourself. Do not put this heavy burden to your parents. They need to rest too.

This is one of the cases where their children keep taking their parents for granted by asking their old parents to look after their children. Their old parents already going to be 70 yet they still need to "work". Plus their mother already not in good health. The old parents have to go to their house to take care of their children's children. Plus, they are not staying in the same country nor same states. Can you imagine how tired this old parents are. I feel sad and heartache when i see the old parents.

I feel like punching their children !...

Wild Lingzhi ~ Ganoderma

I love to drink lingzhi soup especially when it is cooked with chicken, red dates and gei ji. Lingzhi is not cheap especially if the lingzhi is wild type. I don't buy cultured lingzhi. I only buy wild lingzhi.

In Malaysia, i think it's hard to find wild lingzhi. Most of the lingzhi found here are cultivated. So where do i buy wild lingzhi? I bought it online from Taiwan website. I get to know this website while browsing through the web looking for wild lingzhi.

Wild Lingzhi grows in nature, without any harmful substances and pesticide residues. Cultivated Lingzhi lives in artificial structures and in need for preservation and pest control treatment for growth and survival. Not only that wild lingzhi consists of spora which is good for preventing cancer.

If anyone is interested to buy wild lingzhi you can go to http://www.chilai.com.tw/ . They will directly send to your country. But the price is not cheap. The wild lingzhi must be bought in pair. So the price for a set is around RM1K++/ NTD10K++.. Though it's expensive but it's worth it. It's very good for health.

This is myLot Profile

myLot User Profile

Online Transaction

I am very careful when i have online transaction. I try not to use IE when i am doing online transaction.

To me, IE isn't very secure. There was a time i wanted to go to a bank to view my account. Instead of routing me to the bank site after keying in the url, it brought me to bing.com and listed out the bank url. It was very irritating. I thought i have mistyped the address, therefore i retype again. It still brought me to bing.com. Out of curiousity, i clicked on the link. Who knows, IE starts popping out non stop. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even open the task manager to kill the IE. Luckily the memory of my computer is big. I quickly restart my computer. The link which provided was not the genuine bank url but more like trojan horse or stupid website. So i tried to use mozilla to go to the bank site. When i used mozilla, this problem did not happen. It just stated that the site was down. So i know the bank's site was down.

Yesterday i wanted to renew my antivirus software. Of course another transaction online from the antivirus company website. I used IE again. Again, i was faced with a problem. After keying in all my information including credit card information, i clicked on purchase button. The transaction was successful. All i need to do is just to click on the button to verify the renewal process. But who knows, as i was about to click on the verification link, out of the sudden IE got problem again. It suddenly showed me "page could not be displayed". I have not even click on the verification link. I was so worry because i was in the midst of transaction. I have to call the bank to confirm the transaction to ensure that the receiver of the payment is the antivirus company. Luckily the antivirus company sent a receipt to my email to confirm my transaction.

After having so many problems with IE, i dare not use IE for online transaction anymore. It is too insecure for me. I would rather use Mozilla for online transaction. At least when the site is down, it doesn't route me to stupid site or give me stupid links.

Think first before you say.

Some people are really very insensitive. Can't they think first before they say it out? Nothing can be done once they have spouted it out. I was terribly hurt yesterday. Some idiotic fella made a very stupid remark which have made me feel so angry the whole night. I am not sure whether it's really out of concern or being sarcastic but so-called concern has really hurt me. It not only hurt me but also hurt riceball.

To you might be a word of concern but to a receiver like me might feel disgusted or angry by the "concern". I would rather people just keep quiet then simply spouting nonsense. If you do not know what to say, just keep quiet.

Gee Seng Seafood Restaurant.

Last Saturday night, riceball and I went to Gee Seng Seafood restaurant at Batu Kawan. There were many customers. So we thought their seafood must be very delicious. But sad to say, the standard of the food there is bad. I don't find the dishes delicious at all. In fact, the dishes are too salty and laden with a lot of MSG.

Because after having the dinner there, we felt very thirsty the whole night. We ordered the Teo chew noodle, kam heong crab, balitong, lala and steamed prawn mantis. The teo chew fried noodle was extremely salty. The kam heong crab doesn't have kam heong taste at all. I think the best dish that we have ordered is only steamed mantis prawn.

I think this will be the first and the last time i go to this seafood restaurant.

Pengkalan Weld Nasi Lemak

I have read a lot of review regarding the pengkalan weld nasi lemak in penang. Out of curiousity, i gave them a try yesterday. And guess what? I don't find it delicious at all... I am quite disappointed because i expect it to be very delicious. Maybe different people have different taste bud.

What i do not like about the nasi lemak is the rice. The rice is too clumpy. It sticks together. I hate that kind of texture. Other than that, the price is very expensive. A small packet which only consists of anchovies and half hard-boiled egg costs a whopping of RM1.50.

I personally feel that the nasi lemak is not the best nasi lemak i have ever tasted. I still prefer the nasi lemak sold in the morning market in kulim. cheap and delicious. At least the rice is not clumpy.

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I am MYR1.6K poorer :(

I am 1.6K++ poorer today. I need to return this amount to the university. Well, the money is not mine anyway. it belongs to the university. It just that they are using my account to transfer the fund. I have been very blur recently. I didn't even realized that they have banked in the money to my bank. So whenever they ask me whether is the money banked in to my account, i told them no. I have dragged them nearly a month. Soooo embarrassing !!!...

I hope they won't think that i am a cheat. Trying to cheat them the money. I have never checked the transaction history before. I usually check on the full amount.

Anyway, the money doesn't belong to me. It's time to return the money to them.

I never know that i am RM1.6k richer but now i know i am going to be RM1.6k poorer.

Delta Business Solution Sdn Bhd .... SUCKS !

I am not trying to tarnish their image but the delta business in kulim branch is really sucks. Can you imagine, i bought a computer table last month and until now i have not received my table yet. It has been more than 10 days which they promise to send it to us. When we call them, they just give us a lot of excuses. After that irresponsible sales girl (chrys chung) resigned, no one helped us to follow up. They say they will give us a call but none of them gives us a call. Irresponsible isn't it?

It has already been a month. Yet, i have not even received my computer table. So one word to describe their service. Sucks !. So next time if you want to buy from this company, think carefully first.

TVB review: Rosy Business

I would like to say that Rosy Business is one of the best drama which TVB has produced. Though the main leading actor is not a handsome TVB artiste, but his acting is very good. It makes you glue to the drama. I would say that both the leading actor and actress have brought their characters in this drama alive !.

This drama is mainly about how a woman tried to protect her husband's business from his evil son and his first wife and how the main actor helped her and protect her at the same time.

If you have not watched before, why not buy this series and watch. I am definitely sure you will like the drama too.

SCAMS Using Banks

I have received a lot of emails from the "banks". Well, i know all of them are scams because banks never email you. I have received 4 mails from "CIMB" and 1 mail from "MAYBANK". I am actually very worry about it. Now i am sceptical about the banks' online security. Is it still safe to buy online? or have online transactions? It seems like anyone can get our information easily.

I hope that all these banks will tighten their online security to protect us. After all, all the money in the banks are our hard-earned money. If anything happens, who is going to return us the money?

I think it's time to divide the money into separate banks. At least it's much safer than putting into one bank.

Always make sure that the bank which you use for transaction online does not contain much money. It's should be safer this way.

Digi: For Those Who Love to Save

If anyone of you are interested to do some charity but does not have the money, no worry. Digi can help you to fulfill your dream. All you need to do is just click on the this link and choose the organization which you would like Digi to donate. You can choose from Nature, Health and Social. Digi will donate RM5 for each click to that particular organization which you have chosen. Each person can only click once.

You can also click on the banner to support the group that i have supported. :)

suppose to be me.

I am suppose to be on leave today but instead my boss is the one on leave today. What to do... everything is not under my control. I can't control anything. Anyway, i won't brood over it anymore. Over is over. Life has to go on. I just can hope for the best.

Ever since....

Ever since the recent failure, i am very more depress than ever. It seems like no matter what i do, i can't seem to concentrate. It affects my work badly. Very badly in fact. I am thinking should i resign or wait for my boss to fire me. No one knows how i feel. No one knows how much i have to endure the pain of failure. I know that the percentage of success is very slim but i still want to ''gamble". In the end, i lost. I am suppose to go in for the result next Tuesday, but now, i don't even need to go there anymore. Because i have failed the 'test'.

The hurt and pain that i go through now is terrible. I am in total lost. I start to get jealous. I start to hate. I start to make comparison. I feel guilty when i laugh or smile. Because i am a already a loser. I have no right to laugh nor smile like others.

I HATE MYSELF

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate mylife. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid. I am stupid.

I detest myself. I detest myself. I detest myself. I detest myself. I detest myself. I detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself. i detest myself.

I am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad. i am very sad.

i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed. i am depressed.

i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless. i am useless.........................

Hopeless.....

It's hopeless. No matter what i do, can never prevent it from happening. if it wants to happen. It will happen no matter what i do. Whether i want it or not, it still happens. It's hurt. It really hurt. But i still have to face the fact. I still have to face it everyday. The pain that i need to endure is too much now. Nothing can take the pain away from me. Time will heal but the scar will always be there. No matter what i do, the pain can never heal. NEVER and will forever be there......

I don't understand.

My mum isn't like last time anymore. Last time she never take me and compare with other people but now she will do that. Whenever i have any problem, she will just say "aiya, whoever also got the same problem and bla bla bla..." In fact, i hate it. I have told her many times that i hate it. I hate this kind of comparison. I called her because i need someone to console me and understand me. But she just like to quote someone else problem and make comparison. Why? When I was young, she wasn't like that. She would listen to me. She would console me. She was the one who told me that not to compare but now she keep making comparison.

Doesn't she know it hurts? It really hurts. I just need someone to listen to me. I just need someone to console me. Even if it's just a word of consolation. But she just can't do so. This makes me reluctant to call home. Reluctant to share my sadness and happiness with her anymore. I feel that i am getting more and more distance from her.

Now, she doesn't care so much about me anymore. I still remember, when i was very depressed and sad, she would call me several times. But now no more. No more calls. Not even a word of concern. I hate the feeling. But i have to face the fact. Everyone will change. So does my mum. She has changed too.

I have no one to turn to anymore now. I feel even lonelier and more depressed.

I always tell myself. Never make comparison. Because everyone is different. But i am wrong. Because as a human. You will definitely make comparison. It's hard to accept but i just have to accept it.

Why?!!!???

Why so many bad things happening to me now? One after another. It's really scary. I feel that it's bad omen. I am very scared now. My results is next week. I am not looking forward to it. In fact, i hope the day will not come. But i am afraid to face the results. What if................. what should i do? I am so worry now. How do i work now? How can i work now? I don't know what i should do now. I feel so worry. I feel so depressed. I am sooo in dilemma. I am feeling extremely down and sad now.

I want to know the result but at the same time i don't want to know too. I am afraid to face the reality. I am afraid to know. Because i am already waited for so long. I have already prayed hard for it. I only can hope for the best now.

I just wish God will help me. I just wish my dream will come true soon...

Scared & worry. How to work?????